i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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