i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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