Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
