bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
