Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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