Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
they're like a gay fantastic four
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
