it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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