she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
