this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
