You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
