at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
