Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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