was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You're a waste of cheezeits
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
