okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
