after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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