So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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