a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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