youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
