Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
