this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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