She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
