we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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