its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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