People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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