he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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