Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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