why didn't you poke me back
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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