I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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