I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
