i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
