I want to stick my p in your. b.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
