Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
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HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
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Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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