You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
