I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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