People with herpes should wear stickers.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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