Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my mouth tastes like poor choices
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
