I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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