There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
