So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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