does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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