At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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