I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
