I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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