Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
