There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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