I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
