im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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