you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
