I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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