cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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