he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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