Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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