I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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