I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
