Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize