How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
