doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
