Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
