I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
