She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you had me at cake vodka
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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